As a cyclist with modest taste and a simple lifestyle that keeps me happy, I have a short list of things I’d like you to consider bringing my way, Santa. I’ve been nice this year. Well, except for that one yahoo 4×4 pickup driver I flipped off in the back country. “Naughty” is a word I believe you wouldn’t use to describe me. I’m too serious about this whole “training” thing to stir up trouble. Plus, goofing around in my mind is a one-way ticket to getting dropped on Palomar Mountain or losing a wheel on Coast Highway 101 when a pace line is motoring at 25 mph.
I know Tom Boonen says he’s been good this year, but don’t fall for it. There’s probably a lot we don’t know. For starters, look at Tiger. See. Anything can happen. Me? I rarely have a drink and don’t go out after dark except to watch acclaimed works such as “Race Across the Sky” or “Twilight.” In short, I’m part dad, part husband and part dreamer who probably was a cycling monk in a previous life. I just don’t know. On the bike, my monastery is nature. I try to capture some of it and share through my iPhone on Twitter and right here.
So Santa, about my list. I’m not trying to butter you up. Just wanted you to know that a Pinarello Dogma is not at the top. Nor is an SRM fully integrated Dura Ace 7900 crankset in that sweet charcoal gray finish. No, I’m easy. The kind of cravings that I trust are easily met by someone with your kind of connections. I mean, shoot, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was the first prototype beta for LED bicycle lights, right? And the white fluffy trim of your custom red suit, wasn’t that the original material used in Craft base layers? Santa, if you keep a place in your heart for cyclists, here’s what this one asks of you:
- Electrolyte tablets that don’t make my “water” bottles don’t behave like shaken cans of Coke
- White cycling shoes that better match my formerly “white” socks
- A GPS device that uploads ride data via wireless without involving an iPhone
- Cleats that don’t cost $29.99 and last three months
- More motorists who respect cyclists’ vulnerability on roads ruled by 3,000-pound vehicles
There you have it, Santa. My easy short list. Please check it twice. Confirm who’s been naughty and who’s been nice. Santa, keep in mind that Tom Boonen will have a new Eddy Merckx carbon fiber racing bike and cool retro-styled Team Quick Step racing kit for this upcoming season. I don’t think it would be bad form to skip his place this Dec. 24/25 in Monaco — or maybe it’s Belgium now. But you get my drift. Please be sure to park the sleigh out front when you come by my house in San Diego. I’ll leave some Hammer Gel packets and a Clif Bar (carrot cake flavor) on a plate, along with a freshly made glass of Muscle Milk. After the busy season ends, I hope you can start riding. If you do, let me know where you’re posting your ride stats, Santa. I think we should compare data. I have a few ideas for you. Thanks!
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